A pup more precious than my grandfather!!!!!

‘Death’ is a word I don't like. I hate hearing about deaths.... be it a relative, or a friend or an acquaintance or any stranger. I find the news of deaths very disturbing.

The first time I heard about death was that of my maternal grandfather. My first memory of my grandfather was a relaxing old man on the easy chair with a fan made of palm leaves in his hand fanning occasionally. I remember him as a very fair man with brown eyes and scanty hair. He wore black ‘soda’ spectacles. The first time (that I can remember) I visited my maternal grandparents I refused to enter the house as that was not the kind of house I expected. I created a big scene and my grandfather tried to console me.(After all I was a grandchild who had come from a foreign land!!!) I was an obstinate brat that I refused to budge an inch. I still don’t know how I gave in. My grandfather was a very dominant man who enjoyed good food.

The next picture I have about him is not a good one. He had a stroke and was paralyzed. He could not talk. I can remember him lying down and had found streams of tears flowing down when he was fed by my grandma. (He was given just boiled vegetables with no salt). I had no particular attachment to him. By the time I was big enough to understand things he was bed ridden. My grandfather passed away after three long years in bed. I was in the boarding and it was a week later that I knew of his death. I don’t know why I was not taken for the funeral. Maybe I did not have a significant role in other people’s lives. I never cried when I heard about his death. I had a detached feeling..

The next death was that of my aunt. She died of septicemia. As I had met her only once her death passed of without any feelings.

While I was doing my second year degree my paternal grandfather passed away. He was a very handsome man. He was tall and sturdy….like an aged hero out from the Mills and Boon novels. He visited us once a month and updated us with the latest news of other relatives. The last time I met him he looked frail. In a week’s time he died due to old age. I was not allowed to go for the funeral. The reason for leaving me back at home was that there was no one to look after the German shepherd pup!!!!! I wanted to have a last look at my grandpa but I was to stay at home. I was really hurt. Was a pup more precious than a human being?????!!!! As a grandchild I had every right to go for the funeral. But in our house looking after the pup was more important than paying the last respects to my grandfather!!!!

After this I have seen and heard about deaths of my friends. Some died in accidents while some due to diseases. There were friends who committed suicides. Certain deaths affected my life. All the dreams, hopes and aspirations that were built shattered in no time. It took some time for me to realize that dreams could be trampled in no time. I realized that life was not what I thought. It was totally different. Never dream. It brings a lot of tears and sorrow if it is not fulfilled.