Death is a word that makes me shudder. I don’t like knowing about death nor do I like reading about accidents in the newspapers or viewing it on the television either. I cannot control my tears and can cry shamelessly (my daughter calls me a “vikaarajeevi.”) when I hear of such news.
Just 10 hours ago I witnessed a death – the death of a pup of our ‘Patti’. It was called Patti because we hadn’t christened it with a name. This ‘Patti’ was a malnourished stray dog when it happened to come for its afternoon feed (a dozen or more dogs came and still comes every afternoon to eat the leftovers that are thrown out). It was how this Patti first came home as a pup, one and a half years back. It didn’t have a place to go (probably an ‘orphaned’ dog) so it stayed at our place for its morning feeds, afternoon feeds and evening feeds. We never bathed the dog nor did we take care of it. But it showed its gratitude by wagging it tail or cringing when she saw us. Yeah, dogs are much more grateful than human beings!!!
Patti delivered 4 cuddly pups in December. At the beginning of this month one pup was seen dead in front of our gate (the accident occurred sometime at night) and another pup was injured in that accident. It had a head injury and was blinded by the accident. It died the next day. The pup that died this afternoon was the cutest of the lot. It was very active. For the last three days it was looking sick. It was not eating anything. Yesterday I found it had difficulty in walking too. This morning I poured some extra milk and gave it to the pup. It was so weak that it couldn’t even get up to drink it. By noon I saw the pup lying down and trying to move its leg feebly. It couldn’t even move. The pup seemed to be writhing in pain. It was trying to breathe hard. The breathing was slowing down and foam started coming from its mouth and was seen urinating too. Suddenly the breathing stopped. The eyes were opened itself. Yes, the pup too died. I was the sole witness to the death.
My body went cold. A chill went down my spine. I stood there quiet for sometime until I realized that I was crying. This death was something that I never wanted to see. It was lunch time. Not a morsel was going down my throat. I wanted to vomit. The pup’s last moments disturbed me. Was this how people died?
Was this how Jithendra Singh died when he fell off from a cliff in Ooty trying to pose for a photograph? He was the son of a planter who was killed in an accident. My thoughts went to his mother and brother who were to witness tragedies that occurred in their family.
My thoughts then went to Farid who was killed in a car accident when his car was hit by a speeding truck. Did he have time to know that he had met with an accident? Did he breathe his last like this pup or was his death instantaneous? Did he know the pain when the steering wheel tore apart his chest? Or did his ribs crash like the twin tower? Even his mother had to face the death of her husband and her only child.
Another death which affected me was the death of my boarding mate Mirium. She was senior to me. She sat next to me in the study hall and her bed was next to mine in the dormitory. She died of brain tumour which went undiagnosed. She was a mother of three boys. She often complained of headaches but never took it seriously. She would jokingly say “these boys are the reason for my headache.” She was found lying dead in her house when her husband returned from work on evening. She must have undergone immense pain. How did her boys accept the death of their mother?
The death of Laly, my classmate affected me a lot. She was from an interior village in Trivandrum, a girl from a financially backward family. She was not a piece of beauty but her child like innocence attracted most of the boys. She had committed suicide because her boyfriend jilted her.He exploited her innocence. He took her out, bought her ice creams, took her for movies and finally got what he wanted from her every time he desired for it. When the time for marriage came he got engaged to a rich girl for a heavy dowry. Laly was shocked and went into a severe depression. No treatment could save her. She committed suicide by jumping into the well. She must have definitely known the pain….the pain of suffocation. Her parents lost their dear child and her so called boyfriend now lives happily (who knows if he is really happy?) with his wife and kids. Every time I see him I think to myself, “That old scoundrel killed Laly.”
Now coming back to the pup…. I burst out crying when I saw ‘Patti’ come close to it with its tail between its hind legs, bent down and slowly smelled the pup. It licked the pup and sat a little away from it as though in deep sorrow. Patti was mourning the death. These must have been the exact way that Jithe’s mother, or Farid’s mother, or Mirium’s parents, and Laly’s parents must have felt.
All these thoughts really disturbed me. As I am typing this hot stream of tears are rolling down my cheeks. Death is a very tragic thing and let it not happen to people or any living thing until they have a natural death until they are old.
Note: All names are changed to hide identity.
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