Christmas

Christmas tide is back and there is no feeling of Christmas yet. I find everything becoming monotonous. As the years roll by the excitement and wait for Christmas has faded.

The earliest Christmas I remember is my Christmas abroad. There was a big Christmas tree and with full of decorations. We children were given duties like arranging the Christmas tree, hanging ornaments, golden stars, silver stars, teeny weeny Santa Claus’, lights and a whole lot of decorations on the doors and windows. I can remember Christmas cards of various hues and sizes. As I grew up a bit more my attraction was towards the people who came for carols. They came at night with musical instruments and sang wonderful carols. I admired the ‘Big White Santa Claus’ and his choir.


I loved Christmas for new clothes. It was a great pleasure to wear new clothes for mass. The midnight mass was elaborate and it took a very long time. Though I was physically in the church my mind could be on the cake and wine that was awaiting us or on the new clothes of my friends.

Another attraction about Christmas was all the wonderful goodies at Mum’s ‘godown’ (We called it a ‘godown’ because there were so many varieties of cakes, biscuits and other eatables.) The food was never kept outside. It was always under Mum’s control. The special food was also an attraction. Dad used to get so many gift baskets and gift hampers. A grand party would be thrown out for his friends. (We children got gifts from all those who attended the party. It would be toys or books or big slabs of chocolates.)It was mainly booze parties and many would be finally sleeping on our beds until they woke up with hangovers.
There was an instance when one of Dad’s friends was so drunk that he went into the wash and fell there sleeping. My brothers and I peeped at regular intervals and we enjoyed the scene like watching a monkey inside a cage.

By the time we came to India things changed. Christmas became a small time affair. The carols were sung in different pitches and tones (Singers were tone deaf). It was mostly Malayalam hymns that they sang. The Santa Claus was pathetic. He was a true symbol of poverty. The malnourished Santa with a plastic mask and a red night dress, red cap, with a worn out bathroom slippers happily danced. As he dances to the tunes his stomach wobbled. The Santa here didn’t have gloves or shoes. The dark hands and dirty feet were not at all appealing.

Parties too became a small time affair. I enjoyed baking with my Mum. I was always ready to help her in icing the cooking and cakes. I used to love (I no longer do) licking the vessels for all the leftovers of icing and cake batter.

Things changed slowly. Each one of us left home, first for our studies and later for employment and to settle with our families. The old charm of Christmas is not there now. It is many years since I attended a mass. I am not particular about new clothes. It is many years since I bought a new dress for Christmas. I used to bake cakes and cookies but I no longer do it. This time I did not even buy Christmas cards for my immediate relatives or my close friends. I really cannot understand why I have become so indifferent and keep myself blocked from other people. I know I can send e card but does e cards give you the same kind of feeling that you get when you see the handwriting of the person you love????? Never!!!!!.....Nothing can replace that feeling!!!!