Deshadaanakikkal Karayarilla

A few weeks back I watched an old Malayalam movie, “Deshadaanakikkal Karayarilla.” [The translation in English….”Migratory birds never cry”…..I hope it is not like salt mango tree].

The story is about two girls, Sally and Nimmy, fed up with the strict rules of their boarding school and a teacher of theirs. The teacher accompanies them for a trip and these two girls run away at the end of the trip. They live in a different town disguised and finally commit suicide. In the movie Shari played the role of Sally. She is a very bold and naughty girl. Nimmy is played by Karthika who is naughty but a bit timid.

This movie took me back to my schooldays where I was thoroughly fed up with the strict school rules. I would compare myself with Sally. I could not tolerate any injustice meted out at me. There was one particular instance where I planned to run away from school. I was always harassed in school. For mistakes I did, for mistakes I didn’t do, for mistakes other people did I was punished. This is no exaggeration. It was the plain truth and it was very disturbing.

I will never say that I was angelic….no…not even good according to my Principal, teachers and my boarding mistress. I agree that I was naughty…. but was I all that bad as my teachers thought???? No, I never was.

I was tall and big for my age. I had a look of arrogance (which is no fault of mine…Blame it on my genes). My Mum taught to keep my head erect and to look into people’s eyes. I made sure that I followed that teaching of Mum. When ever I spoke to someone or when someone spoke to me I made sure that I kept eye contact. People mistook it for boldness… especially my teachers. They always felt that I walked with my nose up in the air (again blame it on my genes).

The only fault that I can find with myself is that I pull up a “big” face if someone tells me what I don’t like. Then I can back answer them. I always try to prove myself, if I am right.

Now coming to that particular instance….

We always had two assemblies every day. One was in the morning and another in the afternoon. The afternoon assembly was a boring affair. Students had to assemble at the playground sing a hymn, say a short prayer and then disperse. We had to form lines and go to class in silence. That particular day a friend of mine, Meera was talking to me while we were going to classes. There were school reps who would stand at regular intervals to “mind” us.
Suddenly one of the reps shouted,
“Meera, stand out.”
“I am sextemly sorry yaar,” Meera giggled
The rep was fuming.
“What????”
“She is sextremly sorry,” I gave a broad grin at the rep.
“You two girls come out,” screamed the rep.

We were taken to the staff room. We were charged with using abusive language at the rep. Though it was Meera who started it she was absolved of the crime (as she looking down like a poor soul!!!). I was punished (for looking straight into the eyes of the teacher). I was made to stand in front of the office room. I cannot tell you the humiliation I went through. The Principal wanted to throw me out of the school. That nun told me that she was going to inform my parents. She did not want me in school.

“This girl has that ‘phoren” influence in her,” barked that nun and she continued, “you will spoil the other girls also.”

I stood there like a pillar. I felt insulted. The girl who started it was in class while I was standing there like a criminal. My ego wouldn’t let me cry. Though I was weeping inside, my posture was that of arrogance. Informing my parents was something that I just didn’t want. I did not want to humiliate them and that too for a word that was not there in the dictionary. The only solution was to run away from school. Then there was another option…to commit suicide. It was not easy to commit suicide in a boarding full of students everywhere. I cried the whole night under my bed sheet. I wanted to run away. All that I had was around Rs.200. I decided to take two or three dresses in my school bag. I would wear my uniform and go out of the boarding. Then I would change my dress once I am out of the gate. I was not sure as to where to go.

Suddenly I thought of my parents and my friend. What would they do without me??? I was in dire straits. Finally I decided that I was going to face it all by myself. Worse come worst I would be dismissed. I was ready for it.

Next morning I went to school and was made to stand again in front of the office. That nun was saying a whole lot of things and I was standing there like a deaf criminal. Finally I was allowed to sit in class. The nun must have known that it was not easy to punish a boarder like that.

I think of this incident quite often. What was the mistake I did??? Why did the Principal and teachers make so much fuss over a word that was not there even in an encyclopedia? Did the word “sex” make them fume???? Why is that I alone was punished when there was Meera too?????

May be that is how I developed a hatred toward the nuns and priests. They are in an ‘Utopian’ world and they are the people with the seven deadly sins…. wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony!!!!!