This afternoon I attended a wedding reception of my colleague’s daughter. I reached the hall early. As the bride and the groom hadn’t reached I waited outside the hall. I sat on one of the chairs there. Though it was drizzling outside the humidity was high and I was sweating. I was watching the people as I kept fanning myself. There were just half a dozen of men and the rest were women.
The women sat in groups. The women were all decked up like Christmas trees – fully adorned. They all wore heavy Kanchipuram saris. Some had zari while others wore fancy saris with beads, sequins and embroidered ones. I sat a little far from the women crowd as I didn’t know anyone there. I felt like a fish out of water.
The women looked at me and started whispering to each other and occasionally glancing at me. I wore a chikan work (Lucknowi) salwar. Though I paid a few thousands for that, I guess it did not suit their crowd. Over that I do not have the habit of wearing ornaments – be it platinum, or gold or silver or those fancy ones. So I stood out in that crowd. They were busy trying to find out who I was. They were happily talking in Malayalam thinking that I couldn’t understand their language. (Thanks to my alien look). I overheard a lady guessing that I belonged to the Pentecost community. That was their wild guess and I did not go to correct them. I didn’t have to prove to them about my caste and community.
There was another group who sat there exhibiting their ornaments. I saw four heads together admiring an enormous gold bangle on the ‘thin arm’ of a puny lady. The bangle was studded with red and white stones and she was wearing a green sari!!!! It was just not going with her sari. Then the attention was changed to another lady’s earring and so it continued one after the other. It later turned to their saris and in course of time it was about their husbands and children. One boasted on how her child secured all A+ grades for her HSC examination. There were oohs and haaas from all the ladies. Then the discussion was turned to how someone’s kid scored a high rank in the engineering entrance examinations. Again the ooohs and haaas could be heard. There were occasional glances at me. I gave them a totally disinterested look though I was watching each and everyone keenly.
There was yet another group who looked sophisticated. They were sitting there with their noses up in the air and trying to find fault with the arrangement of the reception. The caterers had already started serving the welcome drink. An elderly lady with short coloured hair thought it was very unhygienic to keep the drink opened as all the guests hadn’t arrived yet. She waved her hands as if to show her long nails with red nail polish, and told the guests who came late not to drink it. Was she playing a ‘Good Samaritan’????!!!!!
By then one of my colleague had arrived and we together went and had the welcome drink. The ‘Good Samaritan’ gave me a disgusted look. I gave her a ‘u mind ur own business’ look. She made sure not to look at me again. I was exchanging pleasantries with my friend in Malayalam. Soon other friends of mine joined us. The lady who had guessed that I was a Pentecost gave me a sheepish grin. She understood that my looks had deceived her.
Soon the bride and groom arrived and the halls were opened. As soon as the door opened there was a mad rush to grab a seat for the first sitting itself. All the sophisticated ladies too could be seen running for their seats. (Wonder where their manners and sophistication disappeared???!!!!) My friends and myself (there were five of us) found a place near a family- a father, mother and a little boy of maybe four or five years and three other people. Even before the toast was hosted the people seated on our table quaffed off the wined and gulped down the cake. The chicken fry, salad, sweet chutney, and fruits were covered with cling foil. As soon as the briyani was kept on the table the grabbed the spoon and started serving big helpings. (Even then the toast hadn’t begun at the stage)
Five of us waited for toast to be hosted. Only after the toast we started with cake and wine. By then the people finished their first helping and started with their second. (It was even more disgusting to see the people use their right hand covered with the briyani and raita to take their next helping!!!) It was the first time I saw people eat so heartily at a wedding. By the time we started our first helping a few were having their third!!!! Their capacity is really great!!!! Luckily the food was being served in plenty that we did not have to starve.
After the wedding while I was going back home I thought about the Indian weddings. (I was using the public transport so my imaginations were free to run wild). Indian wedding were a place of pomp and splendour. Be it rich or poor, the weddings are always a grand function even if one has to borrow money. It was also a social gathering where people updated their knowledge of other people and were ready to pass the already spiced news to other gossipers. Why do people go to weddings like Christmas trees? People should at least have a sense of colour while using clothes and ornaments and should make sure if it suits them or not. Last but not the least people should follow the basic table manners. Nobody is happy to touch a spoon with others leftovers on it!! I personally feel that weddings should be a function limited to a very small crowd and it should be very simple. Though I am of this opinion I really don’t know if I’ll be able to follow this when it comes to my daughter’s marriage. It is easy to preach but difficult to practice, right???
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